That sinking feeling...

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from indomitable will."

M. G. Gandhi

It stayed away for about a year. But now it is back in full force.

Getting that sinking feeling again...

The feeling of inadequacy, the feeling of not doing enough, the want to compete, the innate hunger within to break through the bonds that hold you to your circumstances...

The restlessness, the feeling of being tied down, the invisible itch which won't let me rest or allow me a moment of peace. The urge to pick up a fight, the stupid hope that somebody would put forward a challenge. I am having weird dreams about climbing up mountains, falling thru endlessness. Normally I don't even remember them. Its eating me up.

I am in best possible position professionally, personally or financially in years. Only the other day I was thinking that I can be content now. It was another of those meaningless plane journeys where I thought over my life. Now everything seems so worthwhile.

I had to work while I studied in engineering. The competition, the pressure of a job, the shit economy and general hopelessness in the country. I survived that. I did my masters. I got a job. I managed to fund my sister's education, her marriage and make grades at work.

Now I am engaged, free of financial obligations and with a reasonably good job. The other day I had my appraisals and it went better than what I expected. Our house in Kerala is complete, my investments finally growing and my second house on the way.

People are born into circumstances. Depending on the pluck and inner mongrel and some luck you can break out of the social bracket you are born into.

I am an atheist. I believe in only one God. The God inside you. It your magnanimity, your maturity, your courage and your values which can make you or break you. Everybody has to play the cards he has been dealt with. If you can control the small man inside all of us, who constantly bickers, questions, complains and gets depressed over circumstances, you can win.

And so I thought on the plane. I have done it. With ample help from my hard working and proud parents. Maybe I hoped, vaguely at best, that I may find the inner peace which has eluded me the day I saw 2nd semester results. I was strangely happy that day and looking forward to the next phase in life.

It was until RB left.

He was my manager till recently. One of the most smart people I had the pleasure of coming across. He is a tough negotiator and fairly assertive person. He is smarter than me.

Smartness than be in terms of 2 very different skills: Your social skills and your IQ. In theory both are orthogonal. Truly blessed are people who are gifted equally and greatly in both regards.

RB is smart on both fronts.

He's made a huge jump career wise. I was insanely jealous though there is gulf of difference between him and me experience or skill set wise. By now I have figured out that things do not happen automatically.

He gave me pointed and terse tips for my career. All of it spot on. It's been 3 years since anybody made any sense to me in terms of advice. He also told me that I am way ahead of people at my level and would be happy to serve as a reference in future if needed. We parted on great terms. And since then I have been having this fucking depressive feeling.

I know what it is. I want to be like him. He must have an insanely good renumeration. But I really do not give a shit to that. I want to be as good socially as I have seen him to be. I want to be able to connect and communicate as effectively. I want to be able to size up people and seize moments as quickly and correctly as him. I want to look at a situation and be ready for it. I want to be able to make sense as effectively and be able to negotiate as effectively. Oh and by the way I want to play cricket as good as him.

I am dumb enough to admit when I am in awe of people. I appreciate the man as I knew him. It's my journey and I want to make my life as grand as him. I have seen the next level of life and the challenges ahead and I find myself hopelessly short. Just like Engg, just like when I had earn and save enough to my sister and when we were building a home.

I am nervous, I can't sleep, I can't focus on work, I am agitated and I have no clue on how to attack the problem at hand. Real world skills like these are built by practicing and subjecting yourself to a life of astute observation and depth of your thought process. There are no books you can read or exams you can pass.

I have often worked with brilliant people, indeed it is the bane of being in a industry as this to meet people regularly from places like IITs and IIMs. However RB is one of the few who has made me feel out of depth and I thankful for that. I did not get here by warming my butt.

I will make it big. Its not over confidence, nor it is arrogance. I just know it in my heart. I knew that in Pune during my evenings on Z bridge, I knew that even when the Univ Topper in my senior batch did not get a job, I knew that when we were not allowed for Infy campus interviews, I knew that even in the most depressive of circumstances.

I am not sure if I have, or if I will eventually. But one thing's for sure that I would give it one hell of a swing...

Freedom of Thought

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err. It passes my comprehension how human beings, be they ever so experienced and able, can delight in depriving other human beings of that precious right.”

Mahatma Gandhi

Sometimes you need to go alone... I've figured that out pretty early.

There are people in this world who hate to be pushed out of their comfort zones. In fact a majority of them couldn't care much. Most of them would gladly follow a written word ..Unquestioningly

They will crush a spark if they see it. Because they are scared of it. Because they have killed their own a long time ago. They have stopped feeling how it is to be alive or in Job's words 'Foolish'...

From our childhood we are conditioned to think that mistakes are fatal...We are constantly in a rat race... Who gets the most in the maths test? Who gets to stand in the podium? IITs, Engg, Medical, The best salary, the best package, the biggest car, the biggest house, the prettiest wife, the smartest kids...

And so we tread the trusted path, the price of a mistake is too much! And we ridicule the ones who dare think otherwise... There is a certain stigma associated with people who take risks...We almost want them to fail and at the same time are scared of them... What if they bloody succeed?
So we wait for them to fail... "See I bloody told 'ya!"

That's not the worst piece of the story. The worst piece is when people beat or subdue others who dare think differently. This is really easy when the oppressor is on a higher pedestal of influence by virtue of his professional or personal position.

And slowly we kill the spark in individuals...And make them into social clones..Really the world has never figured out the phrase 'Performance management', else why would there be discontent in this world?

I am dissapointed today. But yes I know what to do. I won't tie a band around my eyes and blindly follow the line. Maybe I'll fail and maybe this is all foolish. But yes, I will do the right thing...And I never had a great track record of following orders and so far this has not failed me...Why change now? Its more fun this way!

Ode to the departed II

I like the way you look tonight,
Everything about you is so right
The way you glance, the way tilt your head
forbidden rose petals, your lips so red

Tis' just the way you look at me
Eyes like the untold depths of a sea
Your voice is like the gentle gurgle of a stream
your beautiful smile haunts me in my dream

Why do you have to go, why do we have to part?
Memories of you tear apart my heart
Stolen glances, sleepless nights, time spent talking to you
now seem so futile, so far apart and so few

Yet I know you must go and I understand you a lot
Still I regret, for the heart knows reasons, that mind does not
Before the cold iron of reason, my heart doesn't bow
It will follow you, it will pursue you, wherever you go

Adieu my sweetheart, raven-haired assassin , my FRIEND
Life's mysterious road, never know whats beyond the next bend
Fervently hope there are better things in store for you..
In all things that are old and those will be new.

Now I am done... Yesterday was good, today was better, all the more reason to expect a better tomorrow...

So apt for my mood today....

I see you walking thru the door,
Why won't you look across the floor?
I've got to tell you how I feel.
Oh baby! you are the only one for me...

I wanna get closer to you
I need to be closer to you
I've got to tell you how I feel.
Oh baby! you are the only one for me...

S,E and L in Karthik calling Karthik


brrr... will sleep now

Goodbye marketRx!!

.
And so it ends...
I have put in my papers. And like any relationship I was having blues when I did so. But now just a lingering sense of disappointment. The realization of what it could have been, instead of what it turned out to be.

It's been tumultuous (nearly) 4 years. We joined the company when it was really small and the environment great. There was this spark. And I speak here for my entire batch. I remember me and Amit slogging till 4 in morn and on weekends.
But we were happy!

We ignored other job offers, higher pay cheques and still slogged. Slogged for 3 more years. What changed in between?
I have had chance to think about it for about 6 months. I think what made us stay was the presence of great leaders. They trusted us and they took risks. Most of the people in our batch were interacting and were leading from the front on many projects. We worked and worked and then worked some more...

Then the company suddenly grew big. We got acquired and a bunch of mediocre 'managers' came in. They were managers and not leaders. They did not have domain knowledge or the technical skills to guide/ mentor us nor were they excellent in project management.

Suddenly the 'spark' went out and so did risk taking. We were told that we have learned enough and now was the time to consolidate.
And we bought that...

It took an year and and half to uncover that lie. We ended up managing teams and developing methodologies. And these 'managers' took credit for that. They clicked buttons in ESA and pretended to be busy.

With time we realized that the world had overtaken us. We knew excel and data processing, but we didnt know the domain. We were kept busy. They could not afford to let us breath or think. We were not allowed time to learn. There was this idea to have weekly company level presentations for knowledge sharing so that people interested in those could at least keep tab of what was happening in industry. I remember one of this 'managers'' vehemently opposing the idea on the grounds that such knowledge should not be distributed freely.

Last July I had BP problems. And I was 26...

So I started to think. I first abandoned my team. It was difficult. I had built it from scratch and trained them from zero. Everybody told me I was a fool, afterall I was someday going to inherit that team. But that was like a carrot hung ahead of a donkey's eyes to keep it focussed on the road. So we focused on the road and forgot the competition on the lanes beside us. The competition got ahead and we followed the carrot. I was one of those who dared to look away, but it was too late..

I started talking to people. I saw people who could think. I saw people who knew stuff. I saw people who could manage.

Thats when I decided to leave this company. But it was difficult. We didnt have the skills, or the domain knowledge, the drive or the time required for such a move. Most importantly we lost the ability to think for ourselves.

It took some time, a lot of weekends and lot of perseverance. But I have made it out of the hole I dug for myself and covered my heads with. I've broken thru the bubble.

There are people I would miss. There is camaraderie I would long for. There is visibility I will have to work hard for.

But then I am not going to shy away. It's funny I am more like what I was in my college days now than I have ever been in marketRx. And I am taking risks. I will make sure I stay like this. And did I mention, I am nowadays at peace. I am able to sleep.

It's a amusing situation. I resent what marketRx made me into, I resent what I allowed myself to be. But this is a new dawn. This is a new start. This a new morn. And I am happy!

Almost...

Women!!!!

I don't get them... ever.

They can frustrate you. I have no clue about what in this world can you do to get them interested in you. You pay them a few compliments and then they think of themselves as a combination of Cleopatra, Monica Belucci, Queen Nefereti and Helen of troy.
Doesn't matter if you are smarter than the average Joe in the street, doesn't matter if you are 'The Man' in the crowd, doesn't matter if you are interested to know them rather than have a fling, doesn't matter if you drive 25 KMs in scorching Delhi heat to just get them flowers on their birthday, so that they don't end up missing home.

In fact if you do any of the above things or even remotely express an iota of interest in them, they will assume you are shit and your 'ranking' will go down.

I don't get them,... I seriously don't. I had a good mix of friends in engineering. Some of my friends were absolute jerks, some of them romantics and some of them real gentlemen. Of the first variety you only had to see them with your own eyes to believe how they treated their GFs. I sometime even felt disgusted by their behavior, and it never was my business to interfere. But yeah, they always got the girls.

And let me say this, good guys always lose. I will bloody swear by it. There are only so many cases where I have seen otherwise.

It is even so bloody difficult to be a friend, so at least you get to know if it's all wrapping and no substance.

So I decided I wont get involved. Why burn your fingers? The last wounds haven't even filled. So what if they seem to be creative/ talented/ brainy (The type I fall for, and yep I know I am a dork).
They might not be good judge of character. So I steel myself and look towards a new day, a new approach. I do a few more push-ups, speed on my bike a bit more, and splurge a little. Yep I will survive and ... blah..blah...

But then they bloody smile and your heart skips a beat.

And all is right in the world....

Finding peace....: Part I

I've been thinking and I am confused now... and that in many ways leads to a blog.

First on the topic of blogging itself. It really takes a lot of emotional turbulence to shake something out of me. I make a lot of notes and only a few see the light of the day thru a blog. I will and would write a book someday, but as a profession I could never do it. My experience is that as soon as you get paid for doing something the zing just goes out of it...

I am confused now. What happens if you want something desperately? As far as I am concerned these overpowering urges come on suddenly. You may be talking to a friend one day, or enjoying a quite evening besides a lake, quietly sipping tea in front of your favorite chaiwallah or staring at the stars or be in office making a stupid proposal.

The idea swoops down on your mind like an eagle after it's prey. It's overpowering and it's like a flood has been released onto your consciousness and it has swept you off your feet. It sort of engulfs you. You try to reason with it. You use logical deductions and arguments and they all fail you. Not because they are not correct, just that you cant reason with your madness. Pascal, the mathematician had it summarized best...

“The heart has reasons that reason cannot know.”

You want it so bad that your guts ache for it, you are ready to run miles on a desert for it. What if you could not sleep at all? What if it keeps feeding on your positivity and you yearn for it so hard that it makes everything else in your life superficial. I hate these urges and the moments that accompany them.

Don't get me wrong. I must thank them instead. They have led me to a position of strength to strength. I am a believer of the theory that assuming a normal natural distribution of luck in the overall population any normal individual can achieve success. Of course Luck is 'Latent' variable and measured relatively. In normal words God gifts us with our own unique set of talents. But it is the capability to motivate oneself is the differentiator in general which separates the ones who have tasted success and the ones who have not.

These periods have always blessed me with the ability to change some aspect of my life. They in short have provided me with the 'motivation'. And I always have come out a better individual. However they have more or less led to heart-breaks too. And when that happens life sucks... like a negative Dirac Delta pulse it uber sucks...

So far as I can remember here are the occasions where I have suffered these attacks...
1) Talking to my school chum in IX standard--> NDA
2) Sipping tea in front of Shivajinagar railway station- 'The soccer match' against e/c
3) Sitting besides Powai lake enjoying a quite evening in Mumbai--> GATE
4) Driving home after a late night at my office--> Job Change
5) Creating a proposal in my office recently (last Friday)--> Well I will keep this to myself for now

It is the last incident which has troubled me now. Its unique and it seems to be overpowering me. I hope it was a exam, or a job interview, or a Physical exercise, or a mathematical problem. I would have known how to tackle it. I would have dived into it and allowed it to consume my thoughts and my life. More or less I would have known what to do. I may have failed or succeeded but I do not usually care about that. I am usually OK till I know what I am doing.
However this is different and unusual. How can you influence somebody? I do not know. In fact this time I have to rely on somebody else to make a decision which will influence my happiness. It's selfish, it's in a way self centered and it can't be bought by money, power or any physical effort. I can only present my case. The decision however lies with the jury.

This scares the shit out of me.
So here is what I do. A decision tree model or a fish bone analysis. I recount and make a list of all things that worked for me in the past and those which didn't. This in itself is monumental.
Hopefully this should give me the strength to live thru it. Also should help with future attacks

Hopefully...

Rains and Pune... (Kolkata Kollections-III)

I manage to reach office and meet my teammates and both of them seem nice enough. The security here is unbelievable. I have 3 layers of physical access and to boot my computer I have to enter 2 passwords. By the time I am done here I will be thru with a lot of my lazy habits (like not carrying my id, wallet, phones etc).

I nod politely and seem thoughtful to most of the technical downloads which I receive from my team mates while understanding none of it, twice nodding when actually I was asked a question. I apply the necessary GSDs and wait for the day to end.

The floor has a breathtaking view of Kolkata from my floor. The skyline is absolutely devoid of any buildings and I can actually see Howrah bridge from the floor whereas actually it’s a good 30-40 KMs fom here. As the grey clouds roll in from the horizon it brings a strange kind of darkness despite the full illumination on our floor. Rolls and rolls of rain clouds tumble and jostle and spurt forward with streaks of lightening like streaking thru the grey waves. The entire floor has a glass front and I can see nothing but clouds as far as I can see. It’s like watching discovery channel specials on mute. It’s mesmerizing to see. I reluctantly peal my eyes away when I am summoned to get my PC fixed. I pick up my phone and snap pictures of the spectacle. I turn back to see absolute horror of those around me and the IT girl looks at me like I have just taken off my clothes and was doing an Zulu dance. Sanghamitra (my team mate) tut tuts and lets me know that Cams are not allowed really and are not to be used. She points to the no photography sign on the floor.

I sheepishly slipped the phone back but I resolve quietly that they would have to better break my hands before they even think of deleting those pics. The girl from IT is still staring at me. I suddenly have an overpowering urge to stick my pencil right up her nose. That brings a smile (one of those ones!) on my face and she is infuriated further.

I turn and present my butt to her and return to the spectacle in front. And strangely I am at peace, again…

This is one of the mysteries I haven’t been able to solve in my life apart from my specs which disappeared one fine day and why Vishy’s bike used to break down just when we couldn’t afford it to. While others feel morose and some hate the phenomena I never had issues with it. I remember driving my mother mad with my mud stained dresses caused by jumping into every possible puddle on my way to school. I don’t mind getting wet.

One thing different about me from normal sane people is the capacity to remain alone for unimaginable periods and one of my favorite activities was sitting on Z bridge in Pune along other evening revelers, mostly couples and oldies during my lonely evenings. I remember once when it started raining (those beautiful sudden unexpected Pune showers) people started hurrying off. I don’t know what came over me, but somehow I kept my butt planted. For a while I was the only one on the bridge with people staring with emotions ranging from plane incredulity, surprise to mild derision. In some time I was totally lost and looking at the lightning flashes on the horizon somewhere far down the horizon with the rain gently falling down. Gradually, first a gang of giggling girls, then some couples actually came over back and sat on the bridge. After 10-15 minutes half of the original populace was back on the bridge from the tiny encampment meant to serve as a bus stop. All soaking in the rain…

Some time people forget the simple joys of feeling the rain falling on the skin and really drenching you down. For me rain has the power to clear the mental cobwebs and somehow make me carefree. That’s when I am dangerously close to getting out of control. My friends have had the pain of bearing with me on these moments. I still remember screaming my favorite songs while Vishy/ Niru/ Sameer drove on their bikes carrying me along possibly embarrassed. I was difficult to reason with and I don’t think I remember even if they complained. I never intentionally did it. It just that I used to go cranky at the first hint of gray…

I have sobered since then, matured in the eyes of my world, friends and parents. But the scene which I was a part of in office was special. Its funny how small events can bring all your memories swirling in a matter of moments….Like a giant flash flood.. Memories you never even thought existed. Memories you never attached any importance to or considered worthwhile enough to store and archive… And suddenly you remember how peaceful you were then and how peaceful you are right now. For me this is happiness, bliss and all that is good in this world.

It rains here a lot.

I am beginning to like Kolkata….

The abominable bong man: Kokata Kollections II

Its actually taking me time to get adjusted. The very idea of people driving with caution, not squeezing their vehicles into every possible nook and cranny and not screaming abuses at every possible moment is difficult. Gurgaon has its own charms…
I arrive at the guest house and I am attacked by an onslaught of Bengali from everywhere. As I am beginning to discover it is not very hard and you can guess the basics if the person on other end goes slow with it. I share my room with somebody who introduced himself as “myself Mr Apoorba Das”. That at least cleared any lingering doubts about his gender if any in the minds of those who had the pleasure of being introduced by him. He gets tremendously excited on hearing I am mallu. He’s been apparently to Cochin and thereabouts and shares his love for mallu sea food and cuisine.
“Man what great fish man you have (As if we had something to do with it..). Amazing, and what tasty food.”
“I tell you nearly as good a Bongla cooking (I am supposed to be grateful to him for raising us minions mallus to the same level) and the Prawn curry is amazing man”
Thanks to the good show put forward by Mallu fishes I have the esteemed friendship of Mr. Apoorba. He assures me that h will show me around Salt Lake.
I like the colony, it reminds me of Prabhat or Boat club road in Pune and is systematically planned. Rows of rowhouses and is really a quiet neighborhood. I am told it’s one of the posh areas in Cal. The whole of Salt lake is shaped like a regular octagon (some polygon at least) with regular public transport and neat tidy streets. Bang in the middle of all this is a giant Central Park which according to a hyperventilating Apoorba is apparently a lover’s spot.
Apoorba suggests going over and taking in some ‘sights’. I wriggle out of it. The idea of roaming around with a rotund ogling Panda is something I plan to avoid. He told me that Kolkata is the cheapest Metro for any foodie, and quoted plain and buttered chapatti prices for 6-7 major cities as comparison to seal the deal. One thing you have to give him is that he is a walking encyclopedia of Restaurant prices and modestly admits that he has traveled quite a bit.
He is a new joinee and plans to move on to a flat he has located. Having nothing better to do I help him shift his stuff while getting a thorough knowledge about the comparative auto rates across the many cities Apoorba had a chance set his foot in. This guy is special.
He extends a open invite to join him in his flat if I decide to make Kolkata permanent base and tells me that he normally doesn’t extend that kind of courtesy to everybody.
He then recounts how he has genocide plans for Sindhis if he has his way. “Sindi aur Saanp mile raste mein to pehle Sindhi ko maro”. Some guy apparently wiped 100 bucks from him. Doing this to someone who remembers chapatti prices throughout the length and breadth of this country is definitely not wise.
But Mallus are honest and hardworking in his experience and almost as good as inscrutable bongs and the special variety ones found in Asansol area. I avoid telling him that the miniature Sandalwood Ganesha worth a bargain price of 2000 bucks that he brought in Trivandrum is worth couple 100 bucks really. But he seems enamored with mallus (next only to Kannadigas in his preference list). Mallu fishes are really something. Maybe I should try them too…
Despite all his vices, that guy is really nice. Tomorrow he will move on completely… I finally will be able to sink my teeth into the novels I lugged into Kolkata I guess….

Here I go again...: (Kolkata Kollections I)

Here I go again...

This time literally. I am on the move again. This time Calcutta adds itself to a list of Cities where I have had the privilege of spending time with.

By now I am convinced totally that the notion of being a vagabond actually excites me. Like a restless Bedouin who itches to kick his Camel's badass butt at the first ray of the Sun. Itching to get a move on, see the sand dunes on the other end of Sahara… It may be pointless but it is me.

The only exception this time being that I am totally on my own. No friends, no relatives (Thank God!), no familiar Tree or Rock. I have some college friends based in Cal but they are somewhere else

Trying to earn their living. Or as in modern times, trying to fend off their credit card bills. The idea is funny. Here is a mallu, based out of Nagpur educated in Pune and Kanpur so that he can earn a living in Del moves to Kolkata for a continuance of it. While the couple of Bong friends I mentioned earlier are stationed in Cochin! The world is truly flat at least in this neck of woods.

This actually open up the opportunity of touring NW which is something I always wanted to do because A) I have always wanted it B) its there (To quote Mallory). And to counter the solitude of the looming months in front of me I plan to spend time blogging my experiences here. Now you see the point in the title.

I am in my flight. I actually like Jet lite (Sorry Mr. Mallya) because there is this concept of free gifts and then buying food and beverage menu that will actually not flatten your pockets.

The attendants and the hostesses have just finished their cute little safety dance and we are off...

I actually look towards the take off. For me it's a culmination of an engineering miracle. It's a testimony to the stubbornness of Mother Nature's most persistent creation to date (that is man, after females of course…). Breaking the shackles, trespassing into a domain where Nature never intended us to go. From Kitty Hawk to Airbus 320, some trip indeed! The Wheels leave the ground the engineering voyeur in me delights, and I become conscious of the fact that I am grinning like an idiot.

As the plane banks steeply and makes a turn I can see recognize only the Qutub Minar down below. Like a giant Phallus it stands out in the scenery below. Beautiful!

I have the entire three aisle seat to me and I have finished ordering my favorite Nachos and Salsa. The plane slowly comes to life. Few babies announce their presence, somewhere back a lively debate on whether Ganguly retired too early is going on. Funny it ‘sounds’ like a debate but they all seem to be agreeing with each other. I guess I will have more of it in Cal.

But there is something interesting going on across my seat. A gentleman (definitely a Bong with a trademark Jhola) has started an elaborate eating ceremony. He has 2 tomatoes, 4 potatoes and some cucumber pieces arranged in a stone henge formation on his tray. He now picks up a cloth and starts wiping them with mathematical precision.

Somewhere in front a kid has absolutely massacred a sandwich and is judiciously using the fork to dispatch the remnants of sandwich to all parts of the plane. Bravo! He’s scored a hit. He manages to hit a distinguished gentleman in suit. The gentleman gamely picks up piece off his suit and even manages to offer a smile. The baby encouraged by the smile proceeds to send further missiles the gentleman’s way.

Meanwhile Mr. Bong-across-the-seat has finished wiping his meal. The tomatoes glint like his moon head and he is obviously happy with his work. Then he swallows a full Tomato raw in one go and chews contently. Next the Potatoes line up for their judgment day. Reminds me of a tale where I read some Spanish sailors being decorated, fed and pampered before some Sumerians ate them.

The gentleman in suit has an absolute murderous look on his face. A piece of mutilated tomato lands on the bridge of his nose. And finally Mommy calls an end to the game with a resounding Thwack strategically placed to the Kid’s rear.

Glug glug glug… Our Mr. Moonshine is now proceeding chugging down water after the ritual feast to Tomatoes and potatoes and follows up with a contented burp that resonates for a while. A few babies get frightened. You may accuse Indians for their many vices but no sir, subtlety is not one of them.

I finish my Nachos and Salsa and resist the temptation of licking the remnants of the wrapper. Damn thing’s delicious! And it takes all my will power to avoid ordering another packet.

The plane is hovering over Kolkata it’s time to shut my laptop. Rest of the tale in next installment….